The two ways to add someone on Discord

You can add someone to Discord in two ways: by sending them a friend request using their username or tag, or by inviting them to a server you belong to. A friend request connects you directly so you can message them one-on-one. A server invite brings them into a shared space where multiple people chat together. Most people do both — they become your friend first, then join servers where you already are.

The method you choose depends on what you want to do next. If you want to talk privately, send a friend request. If you want them to see your server and join conversations there, send a server invite. You can also do both at the same time.

Key Takeaways

  • To add a friend, open Discord, go to the Friends tab, select "Add Friend", type their username or tag, and click the send button.
  • A Discord tag is the username plus a four-digit number (like marcus#1234), and you need the exact tag to send a friend request that will reach them.
  • To invite someone to a server, right-click the server name, select "Invite People", and share the generated link or copy the invite code.
  • Server invites can be set to expire after a certain time or number of uses, which you control when you create the invite.
  • If someone sends you a friend request, you will see it in your Friends tab and can accept or decline it there.

How to send a friend request

Open Discord and look at the left sidebar. Click the Friends icon (it looks like two people) or click the "Friends" tab at the top. You will see a list of people you are already friends with, and a button that says "Add Friend". Click that button.

A box will appear asking for a username or tag. This is where you type the person's Discord name. If you know their full tag — the username plus the four-digit number after it, like marcus#1234 — type that exactly. If you only know their username without the number, Discord will search for it, but you may get multiple results if that name is common. Once you have typed the name, click the send button (the arrow or checkmark, depending on your device).

The friend request goes to them when ready. They will see it in their Friends tab under "Pending" and can accept or decline. You will see it there too, marked as "Outgoing", until they respond. Once they accept, you become friends and can message each other directly.

Finding someone's Discord tag

A Discord tag is the only reliable way to find someone, because usernames alone are not unique — many people can have the same username. The tag adds a four-digit number that makes it unique. If you are in the same server as someone, you can right-click their name in the member list and select "Copy User Tag". That copies the full tag to your clipboard so you can paste it into the Add Friend box.

If you are not in a server together, you can ask them directly for their tag. They can find it by clicking their own profile picture (usually in the bottom left corner), and their tag will be displayed there. Some people also share their tag on other platforms like Twitter or in their Discord status.

How to invite someone to a server

Right-click the name of the server you want to invite them to (in the left sidebar). A menu will appear. Click "Invite People". Discord will show you options to create an invite link or invite code.

The easiest method is to copy the invite link — Discord generates one automatically, and you can share it however you want: paste it in a message, email, text, or any other way. When they click the link, they will be taken directly to the server and can join with one click.

You can also set how long the invite lasts. By default, invites do not expire, but you can change that to expire after one hour, one day, or one week if you want to limit who can use it. You can also set a limit on how many people can use the invite before it stops working. Once you have set those options, click "Create Invite" and share the link.

What happens when someone accepts your invite

When someone clicks your server invite link, they will see the server name and a preview of what channels are in it. They click "Join" and they are now a member of that server. They can see all the channels you have set to be visible to new members, and they can start chatting right away.

As the person who invited them, you do not get a notification that they joined — you will just see their name appear in the member list. If you want to welcome them or help them find the right channels, you can message them directly or mention them in a public channel.

Managing invites you have created

If you created an invite link and want to see how many people have used it, or if you want to delete it so no one else can join using that link, right-click the server name again and select "Invite People". You will see a list of all active invites for that server, who created them, and how many times each one has been used.

Click the trash icon next to any invite to delete it. Once deleted, that link will no longer work, and anyone who tries to use it will get an error. This is useful if you shared an invite by accident or if you want to stop letting new people join through a particular link.

What to do if a friend request does not go through

If you send a friend request and it does not appear to reach the person, the most common reason is that you typed the tag incorrectly. Discord tags are case-sensitive for the username part, and the four-digit number must be exact. Ask the person to confirm their tag and try again.

Another possibility is that the person has their privacy settings turned on so that only friends can send them messages. In that case, your friend request will still go through, but they may not see it right away if they do not check their pending requests often. If they decline your request, you can ask them to send you a friend request instead, which will definitely reach you.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I add someone to Discord if I do not know their tag?

Not directly. You need their exact tag to send a friend request. If you are in the same server, right-click their name and copy the tag. If you are not in a server together, you will need to ask them for it or find it on their profile if they have shared it publicly.

What is the difference between a friend and a server member?

A friend is someone you have sent a friend request to and who accepted it. You can message them directly one-on-one. A server member is someone who has joined a server you are in. You can see them in the member list and chat with them in that server's channels, but you cannot message them privately unless you are also friends.

Can I invite someone to a server without being friends with them first?

Yes. You can share a server invite link with anyone, and they can join without being your friend. You do not need to send a friend request first. Many people join servers through invite links and never become direct friends with the person who invited them.

What happens if I delete an invite link after someone has already joined?

Deleting an invite link does not remove people who already used it to join the server. They stay in the server. Deleting the link only stops new people from being able to use that particular link to join.

Can I see who I sent friend requests to?

Yes. In the Friends tab, click the "Pending" section at the top. You will see two lists: requests you sent (marked "Outgoing") and requests others sent to you (marked "Incoming"). You can cancel an outgoing request by clicking the X next to it.