The three ways to add someone on Discord

You can add a friend in Discord by sending them a friend request, accepting their request, or joining a server where you can message them directly. The method you choose depends on whether you already know their username and whether you want to add them before or after you start talking.

The most common route is to search for their username and send a friend request. This works if you know their exact Discord username or their tag number (the four digits after their name). Once they accept, you can message them one-to-one without being in a shared server.

The second route is to wait for them to send you a friend request first. You'll see a notification, and you can accept or decline from there. The third route is to join a server together — you can message someone in a server's channels or send them a direct message even if they haven't accepted a friend request yet, though they can block you from doing so.

Key Takeaways

  • To add a friend by username, open your Friends list, click "Add Friend", type their exact username and tag number (like username#1234), and send the request.
  • You can also add someone by right-clicking their name in a server channel or direct message and selecting "Add Friend" from the menu.
  • When someone sends you a friend request, you'll see it in your Friends tab under "Pending" — you can accept, decline, or ignore it.
  • Blocking someone prevents them from sending you friend requests or direct messages, and they won't see that you're online.
  • You can change who can send you friend requests in User Settings under Privacy & Safety, limiting it to friends of friends or server members only.

Adding a friend by searching their username

Open Discord and click the Friends icon (the person with a plus sign) in the left sidebar. Click the "Add Friend" button at the top. Type the person's exact Discord username and their four-digit tag number — for example, priya#4829. The tag number is important because many people have similar usernames, and the tag makes each one unique.

If you don't know their tag number, ask them directly or look for it on their profile. Once you type the full username and tag, click "Send Friend Request". They'll see your request in their Friends tab under "Pending Requests". They can accept, decline, or let it sit. If they accept, you'll both appear in each other's Friends list and can message one-to-one.

Adding a friend from a server or existing conversation

If you're already talking to someone in a server channel or in a direct message, you can add them without searching. Right-click or long-press their username (on mobile) and select "Add Friend" from the menu that appears. This sends them a friend request the same way searching does — they still have to accept it.

You can also click on their profile picture or name to open their profile card, then click the "Add Friend" button there. This method is faster if you're already looking at their name in a conversation.

Accepting or declining friend requests

When someone sends you a friend request, you'll see a notification and a red dot on your Friends icon. Click Friends and look for the "Pending" tab. You'll see a list of people who've sent you requests. Click the checkmark to accept or the X to decline.

If you decline a request, the person won't be notified, but they can send another request later. If you ignore it (do nothing), it stays in your Pending list. You can also block someone from this screen by clicking the three dots next to their name and selecting "Block" — this prevents them from sending you requests or messages at all.

Controlling who can send you friend requests

By default, anyone on Discord can send you a friend request. If you want to limit this, open User Settings (the gear icon next to your username at the bottom left). Go to Privacy & Safety and find the "Friend Requests" setting. You have three options: allow requests from everyone, allow them only from friends of friends, or allow them only from people in servers you share.

Choosing "Friends of Friends" means only people who are already friends with your friends can request you. Choosing "Server Members" means only people in servers you're both in can request you. These settings don't affect requests that are already pending — they only explore to new requests going forward.

What happens when you block someone

Blocking someone on Discord prevents them from sending you friend requests, direct messages, or seeing that you're online. They can still see your username and profile picture in servers you share, but they can't interact with you directly. If you're in the same server, they won't see your messages in channels, and you won't see theirs.

To block someone, open their profile, click the three dots, and select "Block". You can unblock them the same way by going to User Settings, Privacy & Safety, and finding your blocked users list. Blocking someone doesn't delete them from your Friends list — you have to unfriend them separately if you want to do that.

Removing a friend

If you want to remove someone from your Friends list without blocking them, right-click their name in your Friends list and select "Remove Friend". They won't be notified, but they'll no longer see you in their Friends list. You can still message them if you're in a shared server, and they can send you a new friend request later.

Removing a friend is different from blocking. Removing just takes them off your list; blocking prevents all contact. If you remove someone and later want to add them back, you can send a new friend request or they can send one to you.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can someone add me as a friend if I don't know them?

Yes, unless you've changed your privacy settings. By default, anyone can send you a friend request. You can change this in User Settings under Privacy & Safety to limit requests to friends of friends or server members only. You can always decline a request without the person knowing.

What's the difference between a friend request and a direct message?

A friend request is a request to add someone to your Friends list. A direct message is a conversation. You can message someone in a shared server without being friends, but if your privacy settings allow it, they can also message you directly without being friends first. Accepting a friend request just makes it easier to find them and message them anytime.

If I remove a friend, can they still message me?

If you're in a shared server, yes — they can still message you in server channels. They can also send you a new direct message if your privacy settings allow it. If you want to prevent them from contacting you at all, you need to block them, not just remove them.

Why does Discord ask for a tag number when I search for someone?

The tag number (the four digits after a username) makes each person unique. Many people have similar usernames like "alex" or "jordan", so the tag prevents you from accidentally sending a request to the wrong person. You can find someone's tag by clicking on their profile or asking them directly.

Can I add someone if they have their friend requests turned off?

No. If someone has changed their privacy settings to not allow friend requests from everyone, you can only add them if you fall into their allowed category — for example, if they allow requests from server members and you're in a shared server. You can still message them in that server without being friends.