The fastest way to add someone on Messenger

Open Messenger and tap the pencil icon (or the "+" icon on some phones) at the top of your chat list. Type the person's name, phone number, or username. When their profile appears, tap it and select "Add" or "Send Message". That's it — they'll see a message from you, and you can start talking right away.

You don't need them to add you back first. Once you send them a message through Messenger, the conversation appears in their inbox whether they've added you or not. If they don't have Messenger installed, they'll get a notification that you messaged them, and they can reply through Facebook or the web version.

The person you're messaging will see your name, profile picture, and any mutual friends you share. If your profile is set to private, they'll see less information about you until they add you back.

Key Takeaways

  • You can message anyone on Messenger by searching their name, phone number, or username — they don't have to add you first.
  • The person receives a notification that you messaged them, and the conversation shows up in their inbox when ready.
  • If you're not friends on Facebook, your message may land in their "Message Requests" folder instead of their main inbox.
  • You can add someone to a group chat by opening the group, tapping the group name, and selecting the option to add members.
  • Blocking someone removes them from your contacts and prevents them from messaging you, but they can still see your profile if you're not friends.

Adding someone you already know on Facebook

If you're already Facebook friends with someone, they'll appear at the top of your Messenger chat list, and you can message them directly without any extra steps. Just tap their name and start typing.

If you want to add a Facebook friend to Messenger but haven't messaged them yet, open Messenger, tap the pencil icon, search for their name, and tap "Send Message". Their name will move to your active chats once you send the first message.

Some people set their Messenger to only receive messages from friends. If that's the case, your message will sit in their "Message Requests" folder, and they'll see a notification that someone tried to contact them. They can choose to accept or decline the request.

Adding someone by phone number or username

If you don't know someone's Facebook name, you can search for them by phone number. Open Messenger, tap the pencil icon, and type their phone number in the search box. If they have Messenger linked to that number, their profile will appear.

You can also search by username. A username is different from a person's display name — it's a custom handle they set up on Facebook. If you know someone's username (it usually appears with an @ symbol), type it into the search box and their profile will show up.

Phone number search only works if the person has linked their phone number to their Messenger account and hasn't turned off the setting that lets people find them by phone. Not everyone has this enabled, so if you don't see them in the results, try searching by name instead.

Adding multiple people to a group chat

To create a group chat, open Messenger and tap the pencil icon. Type the names of the people you want to add, and they'll appear as you type. Tap each person you want to include — you can add up to 250 people in a single group.

Once you've selected everyone, tap "Create" or "Next" (depending on your phone). You can name the group, add a group photo, and choose whether to turn on notifications. Then tap "Create Group" or "Done", and Messenger will send a notification to everyone that they've been added.

If you want to add someone to an existing group chat, open the group, tap the group name at the top, scroll down to "Members", and tap "Add Members". Search for the person's name and tap to add them. They'll get a notification that they've been added to the group.

What happens when you add someone

When you add someone on Messenger, they see a notification that you sent them a message. They don't see a separate "friend request" — instead, your message appears in their inbox or their "Message Requests" folder, depending on whether you're already Facebook friends.

If you're not Facebook friends, your message goes to "Message Requests" and they have to accept it before the conversation moves to their main inbox. If they decline, the conversation disappears from their view, but you can still see it on your end.

The person can see your profile picture, name, and any mutual friends you share. If your privacy settings are strict, they may not be able to see much else about you until they add you as a friend.

Removing or blocking someone

If you want to stop messaging with someone, you can delete the conversation. Open the chat, press and hold on it (or swipe left on iPhone), and tap "Delete". This removes the conversation from your inbox, but the person can still message you if they have your contact information.

If you want to prevent someone from messaging you entirely, you can block them. Open their profile or a chat with them, tap the three dots or menu icon, and select "Block". A blocked person can't message you, see when you're online, or see your profile — but they can still see your name and profile picture if you're not Facebook friends.

Blocking is stronger than deleting a conversation. If you just delete a chat, the person can still reach you. If you block them, they won't be able to contact you through Messenger at all.

Troubleshooting: Why you can't find someone

If you search for someone and they don't appear, they may have changed their name recently, set their profile to private, or deactivated their account. Try searching by phone number or username instead of their display name.

If you're searching by phone number and nothing shows up, the person may not have linked their phone number to Messenger, or they may have turned off the setting that lets people find them by phone. Ask them for their username or Facebook profile link instead.

If you're trying to add someone to a group chat and they don't appear in the search results, they may have blocked you, deactivated their account, or set their privacy settings to prevent being added to groups. You won't be able to add them unless they change those settings.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do I need to be Facebook friends with someone to message them on Messenger?

No. You can message anyone on Messenger by searching their name, phone number, or username. If you're not Facebook friends, your message goes to their "Message Requests" folder instead of their main inbox, and they have to accept it before you can see if they've read it.

Can someone message me if I haven't added them?

Yes. Anyone can send you a message on Messenger, and it will appear in your "Message Requests" folder. You can choose to accept the request and move the conversation to your main inbox, or decline it and delete the conversation.

What's the difference between deleting a chat and blocking someone?

Deleting a chat removes the conversation from your inbox, but the person can still message you. Blocking prevents them from messaging you entirely, and they can't see when you're online or access your profile. Blocking is permanent until you unblock them.

Can I add someone to a group chat without them knowing?

No. When you add someone to a group chat, they get a notification that they've been added and can see the group name and members. They can leave the group at any time by opening it and selecting "Leave Group".

What if someone's name doesn't show up when I search?

Try searching by their phone number or username instead. If that doesn't work, they may have deactivated their account, set their profile to private, or blocked you. You can also ask them to send you a link to their Messenger profile.