The basic way to add someone on Messenger
On Facebook Messenger, you add people in three ways: search for them by name or phone number, accept a request they send you, or let them message you first. The simplest route is to open Messenger, tap the pencil icon (or "+" on some phones), type their name or phone number, and tap their profile when it appears. Once you tap their name, a chat opens and you can send a message.
You do not need to be Facebook friends with someone to message them on Messenger — that is a common misunderstanding. You can message almost anyone whose account is set to receive messages from people outside their friend list. However, their message may land in a "Message Requests" folder instead of their main inbox, and they may not see it right away.
If someone sends you a message first, their name appears in your Messenger inbox. You can reply directly, which counts as accepting the conversation. You do not have to do anything formal — just reply when you are ready.
Key Takeaways
- You can add someone on Messenger by searching their name or phone number, even if you are not Facebook friends.
- Messages to people outside your friend list may land in their Message Requests folder, where they might not see them when ready.
- You can control who can message you by adjusting your privacy settings to limit messages from strangers.
- Blocking someone removes them from your contacts and prevents them from messaging you or seeing your online status.
What happens when you message someone who is not your friend
When you search for and message someone you are not connected to on Facebook, their experience depends on their privacy settings. If their account allows messages from anyone, your message goes to their main inbox. If they have restricted messages to friends only, your message lands in "Message Requests" — a separate folder they have to open to see.
Message Requests exist because they reduce spam and unwanted contact. The person can read your message, delete it, or accept it and move the conversation to their main inbox. They are not notified the same way they would be for a message from a friend, so response times are often slower.
If you are trying to reach someone and they do not reply, they may not have seen your message at all — it could be sitting in Message Requests. There is no way to know from your side whether your message made it to their main inbox or their requests folder.
How to change who can message you
You can control whether strangers can message you at all. On the Messenger app, go to your profile (tap your photo at the top left), then tap "Privacy". Look for "Who can message you" or "Message filtering". You will see options like "Everyone", "Friends and people with your phone number", or "Friends only".
Choosing "Friends only" means only people on your Facebook friend list can message you in your main inbox. Everyone else gets blocked from messaging you entirely — their message will not go to Message Requests; they straightforward cannot send one. Choosing "Everyone" means anyone can message you, and those messages go straight to your inbox.
The middle option, "Friends and people with your phone number", lets friends message you freely, but people who have your phone number saved in their contacts can also reach you. This is useful if you want to hear from people you know in real life but have not friended on Facebook yet.
Blocking and unblocking someone on Messenger
If someone is messaging you and you do not want contact, you can block them. Open the conversation, tap their name at the top, scroll down, and tap "Block". Blocking prevents them from sending you messages, seeing when you are online, or viewing your profile. They will not be notified that you blocked them, but they may figure it out when their messages stop going through.
Blocking is different from deleting a conversation. Deleting just removes the chat from your inbox — the person can still message you. Blocking stops the contact entirely. If you block someone by mistake, you can unblock them the same way: go to your profile, tap "Privacy", find "Blocked people", and tap the person's name to unblock.
If someone is harassing you, blocking is the first step. If the behavior continues from different accounts or escalates, you can report them to Facebook using the report button in the conversation.
Adding people from your phone contacts
Messenger can sync with your phone's contact list and show you which contacts have Messenger accounts. On the app, tap the pencil icon to start a new message, then look for "Contacts" or a contacts section. You will see people from your phone listed with a Messenger icon next to their name if they have an account.
Tapping their name opens a chat with them. This is faster than typing if you have a lot of contacts. However, syncing your contacts with Messenger means Facebook can see your phone's contact list — a privacy trade-off worth knowing about. If you do not want Facebook to have access to your contacts, you can turn off contact syncing in your phone's settings or in Messenger's privacy settings.
Group chats and adding multiple people at once
To start a group chat, tap the pencil icon, then look for "Create group" or a similar option. Type the names of the people you want to add, and they will appear as you type. Tap each person to add them, then tap "Create" or "Next". Everyone in the group will be notified that they have been added to a new chat.
You can add people to an existing group chat by opening the conversation, tapping the group name at the top, and looking for "Add members" or a "+" icon. Only you can add people to a group you created, unless the group settings allow members to add others. Some groups are set to "Anyone can add members", while others restrict it to the creator.
Privacy and security when adding new contacts
Adding someone on Messenger does not give them access to your personal information beyond what is visible on your Facebook profile. They can see your profile picture, name, and any details you have made public. They cannot see your phone number, email, or location unless you share those directly in the chat.
Be cautious about accepting messages from people you do not know. Scammers and spam accounts often use Messenger to contact people with fake offers, phishing links, or requests for money. If someone you do not know messages you with an unusual request, it is safe to delete the message and block them. You do not owe a response to strangers.
If you are worried about someone finding you on Messenger, you can limit who can search for you. In your privacy settings, look for "Who can look you up" and choose "Friends only" or "Friends of friends". This makes it harder for strangers to find your account in the first place.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can someone message me on Messenger if I have not added them?
Yes. Unless you have set your privacy to "Friends only", anyone can send you a message. It may land in Message Requests instead of your main inbox, depending on your settings and theirs. You can read it, ignore it, or block the person.
What is the difference between Message Requests and my main inbox?
Message Requests holds messages from people you are not friends with (if your settings allow messages from non-friends). You do not get a notification for these messages the way you do for friend messages. You have to open the Message Requests folder to see them. Accepting a message request moves that person's conversation to your main inbox.
If I block someone, can they still see my profile?
No. Blocking prevents them from messaging you, seeing your online status, and viewing your profile. However, they may still be able to see old messages you sent them before the block, depending on your settings.
Do I have to be Facebook friends with someone to add them on Messenger?
No. You can message people on Messenger without being Facebook friends. However, your message may go to their Message Requests folder instead of their main inbox, and they may not see it right away.
Can I add someone if they have blocked me?
No. If someone has blocked you, you cannot search for them, message them, or see their profile on Messenger or Facebook. The block is one-way — they cannot see you, but you also cannot reach them.