The simplest way to start a conversation with someone new

To add someone to Messenger, open the app and tap the pencil icon or "New Message" button, then type their name or phone number. Facebook will show you matching accounts. Tap the person you want, type your message, and send. That person will receive your message in their Messenger inbox, and the conversation starts — you do not need their permission first.

If you want to add someone to an existing group conversation instead, open the group chat, tap the group name at the top, scroll to "Members", and tap "Add People". Search for their name and tap to add them. Everyone in the group will see that you added them.

Key Takeaways

  • Starting a one-on-one conversation with someone new requires only their name or phone number — they do not have to accept a friend request first.
  • Adding someone to a group chat requires you to open the group, find the members list, and search for their name.
  • When you add someone to a group, all members see the notification that they joined.
  • If someone has blocked you or set their privacy settings to reject messages from non-friends, your message may land in their "Message Requests" folder instead of their main inbox.

Starting a one-on-one conversation with someone not on your friends list

Open Messenger and look for the pencil icon in the top right corner (on iPhone) or the "+" icon (on Android). Tap it and select "New Message" or "Send a Message". A search box will appear at the top of the screen.

Type the person's full name or their phone number. Facebook searches your contacts, your friends, and public profiles. As you type, matching names appear below the search box. Tap the person you want to message. Their profile will open, showing their name, profile picture, and any mutual friends you share.

Tap in the message box at the bottom, type what you want to say, and tap Send. Your message goes to their inbox when ready. They will see it the next time they open Messenger, whether or not they are your friend.

What happens when you message someone who is not your friend

If the person has their privacy settings set to a standard level, your message lands in their main inbox and they see a notification. If they have stricter settings — or if they have blocked you — your message goes to their "Message Requests" folder instead. They will not get a notification, and they may never see it unless they check that folder.

You have no way to know which folder your message landed in. If you do not hear back after a few days, it is likely in their Message Requests. The person can read it there, delete it, or move it to their main inbox if they want to continue the conversation.

Adding someone to an existing group chat

Open the group conversation you want to add someone to. At the top of the chat, you will see the group name. Tap it. A menu will open showing the group details, members list, and settings.

Look for "Members" or "Add People" — the exact wording depends on your phone and which version of Messenger you have. Tap "Add People". A search box appears. Type the name of the person you want to add. Tap their name when it appears in the results.

Confirm by tapping "Add" or "Done". The person is now in the group. Everyone in the chat, including the new member, will see a message saying "[Your name] added [new person's name]". The new member can now see all future messages and can scroll back to read the conversation history.

Why someone might not appear in your search results

If you type someone's name and they do not show up, they may have set their profile to be unsearchable, or they may have deactivated their account. Some people also use nicknames on Facebook that are different from their real name, so searching for "John" might not find someone whose profile name is "J. Smith".

If you know their phone number, try searching by that instead — it often works when a name search does not. You can also ask a mutual friend to send you a link to their profile, then tap "Message" from their profile page. This bypasses the search entirely.

Removing someone from a group chat

If you need to remove someone from a group, open the group chat and tap the group name at the top. Find the person's name in the Members list, tap and hold on their name (or tap the three dots next to it), and select "Remove". They will be taken out of the group and will see a message that they were removed.

Only the person who created the group or anyone with admin rights can remove members. If you are not the group creator, you may not have this option. On some phones, you can also leave the group entirely by tapping "Leave Group" in the same menu.

Adding contacts from your phone to Messenger

Messenger can sync with your phone's contact list. Open Messenger, tap your profile picture in the bottom right, scroll down to "Friends", and look for "Find Friends" or "Invite Friends". Tap it. Messenger will ask permission to access your contacts. If you allow it, you will see a list of people in your phone who are already on Facebook.

Tap "Add" next to anyone you want to message. They will become your friend (if they accept) or you can message them directly without waiting for acceptance. This is faster than typing names one by one, especially if you want to reach multiple people.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I message someone on Messenger if they are not my friend?

Yes. You can message anyone whose name you can find, whether or not they are your friend. Their message may land in their main inbox or their Message Requests folder depending on their privacy settings, but you can send it either way.

What if I add someone to a group chat and they do not see the old messages?

New members can scroll back and read the entire conversation history from when the group started. They will see everything that was said before they were added. There is no way to hide earlier messages from new members.

Can someone tell if I added them to a group chat?

Yes. Everyone in the group, including the new member, sees a notification that says you added them. There is no way to add someone silently.

What does it mean if someone does not appear when I search for them?

They may have deactivated their account, set their profile to private or unsearchable, or use a different name on their profile than you expect. Try searching by phone number instead, or ask a mutual friend to send you a link to their profile.

Can I undo adding someone to a group?

Yes, but only if you are the group creator or have admin rights. Open the group, tap the group name, find the person in the Members list, and select "Remove". They will be taken out of the group when ready.