The simplest way to add someone to iMessage
To add someone to iMessage, open the Messages app on your iPhone, iPad, or Mac, tap the pencil icon (or click "File" then "New Message" on Mac), and type their name, phone number, or email address in the "To:" field. If they have iMessage enabled on their device, their name will appear with a blue background. Tap or click their name to select them, then type your message and send.
That's the entire process. iMessage automatically detects whether the person you're messaging has iMessage turned on. If they do, your message sends through Apple's encrypted servers. If they don't, it falls back to SMS (text message) and sends through your carrier instead — you'll see the message bubble turn green instead of blue.
You don't need to "add" someone in the way you might on other apps. iMessage works with contacts you already have in your phone's address book, or with any phone number or email address you type in. Once you send a message to someone, that conversation stays in your Messages app and you can message them again anytime.
Key Takeaways
- iMessage uses your existing contacts or any phone number and email address you type — there's no separate friend request or approval step.
- Blue message bubbles mean iMessage (encrypted), green bubbles mean SMS through your carrier (not encrypted the same way).
- iMessage only works between Apple devices — if someone has an Android phone, messages to them will be green SMS by default.
- Your phone number and email address are visible to anyone who messages you on iMessage, so think about which contact methods you want to share.
Why iMessage doesn't require a friend request
iMessage is built on top of your phone number and email address, not on a separate username system. Apple's servers recognize you by the phone number or email tied to your Apple ID. When someone messages that number or email, iMessage checks whether you have iMessage turned on, and if you do, it delivers the message through Apple's network.
This design means anyone with your phone number or email can start a conversation with you without asking permission first. You can't block someone from sending you a message the way you can on Instagram or Facebook — you can only block them after they've messaged you, or block their number entirely so they can't reach you at all.
If you want to keep your phone number private, you can turn off iMessage for that number and use only your email address instead. Go to Settings > Messages > Send & Receive on iPhone, or System Settings > Messages > Send & Receive on Mac, and uncheck your phone number. Then only people who have your email address can reach you through iMessage.
How iMessage handles group conversations
To start a group message, tap the pencil icon in Messages, then type multiple names, phone numbers, or email addresses in the "To:" field, separated by commas. Select each person from the dropdown as their name appears. Once you send the first message, iMessage creates a group conversation that includes everyone you named.
Group iMessages work differently depending on who's in the group. If everyone has iMessage on an Apple device, the conversation stays encrypted and everyone can see when others are typing. If even one person has an Android phone or doesn't have iMessage turned on, the entire group conversation switches to SMS, and typing indicators and read receipts stop working.
You can add people to an existing group conversation by swiping left on the group name (iPhone) or right-clicking it (Mac), selecting "Details," and tapping "Add Contact." You can also remove people the same way. Everyone in the group will see a notification that someone was added or removed.
What information is visible when you message someone
When you send an iMessage to someone, they can see your phone number or email address — whichever one you used to send the message. If you have both your phone number and email address turned on for iMessage, they'll see both in your contact card. There's no way to hide your contact information from someone once you've messaged them.
If you want to message someone without revealing your phone number, use your email address instead. Go to Settings > Messages > Send & Receive (iPhone) or System Settings > Messages > Send & Receive (Mac), and make sure your email is checked. Then when you message someone, choose your email address from the "From:" field before you send.
iMessage also shows read receipts by default — the other person can see when you've read their message, and you can see when they've read yours. You can turn this off for individual conversations by swiping left on the conversation (iPhone) or right-clicking it (Mac), selecting "Details," and toggling off "Send Read Receipts."
Adding contacts from other messaging apps versus iMessage
iMessage is different from apps like WhatsApp, Signal, or Telegram because it's built into your phone's operating system and doesn't require a separate account. You don't choose a username, create a profile, or read anything. Your identity in iMessage is your phone number or email address, and your contacts are the people already in your address book.
Other messaging apps require you to create an account, choose how much information to share, and explicitly add people as contacts. Those apps also let you control your privacy more granularly — you can hide your phone number, use a username instead, or set who can message you. iMessage gives you less control over these settings because it's designed to work like SMS, where anyone with your number can reach you.
If privacy is a concern, consider which contact method you want to use. iMessage encrypts the content of your messages, but it doesn't hide who you are or who you're talking to from Apple. Other apps like Signal or WhatsApp also encrypt your messages and offer more privacy controls over who can contact you and what information they see.
Troubleshooting when someone doesn't appear as iMessage
If you type someone's name and they don't show up in the dropdown, or if their name appears but the message bubble turns green instead of blue, it usually means one of three things: they don't have iMessage turned on, their device isn't connected to the internet, or their phone number or email isn't registered with Apple's iMessage servers.
Ask them to check Settings > Messages > iMessage (iPhone) or System Settings > Messages > iMessage (Mac) and make sure it's toggled on. If it's already on, have them toggle it off and back on, which re-registers their number with Apple's servers. This usually takes a few minutes. If they're using an Android phone, they won't have iMessage at all, and messages to them will always be green SMS.
If you're messaging someone's email address and it's not working, make sure they've added that email to their iMessage account. They can do this in Settings > Messages > Send & Receive and checking the box next to their email address. Some people have multiple email addresses registered, so if one doesn't work, try another.
Why you might want to use a different app instead
iMessage is convenient if everyone you message has an iPhone or Mac, but it has real limitations. It only works between Apple devices — if you message someone with an Android phone, you lose encryption and features like typing indicators. It also doesn't let you control your privacy the way other apps do: anyone with your number can message you, and Apple can see metadata about your conversations (who you're talking to, when, and for how long).
If you want stronger privacy controls, consider Signal or WhatsApp instead. Both apps let you choose a username, control who can contact you, and hide your phone number from people you message. Both also encrypt your messages so that even the company running the app can't read them. The tradeoff is that everyone you want to message has to read the app, whereas iMessage is already built into every iPhone.
For most casual messaging, iMessage is fine. For sensitive conversations, or if you regularly message people with Android phones, a dedicated messaging app gives you more control over who can reach you and what they can see.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can someone message me on iMessage if I don't have them in my contacts?
Yes. Anyone with your phone number or email address can start an iMessage conversation with you. You don't need to have them in your contacts first, and they don't need your permission. You can block them after they message you, or block their number entirely to prevent future messages.
What's the difference between a blue and green message bubble?
Blue means iMessage — the message is encrypted and sent through Apple's servers. Green means SMS — the message is sent through your carrier and is not encrypted the same way. Green usually means the person has an Android phone, doesn't have iMessage turned on, or is using a phone number that isn't registered with iMessage.
Can I send an iMessage to someone without them knowing my phone number?
Not completely. If you message them from your phone number, they'll see your phone number. You can message them from your email address instead, which hides your phone number but shows your email. Go to Settings > Messages > Send & Receive and make sure your email is checked, then select it in the "From:" field before you send.
What happens if I add someone to a group message and they have Android?
The entire group conversation switches from iMessage to SMS. Everyone in the group will see green bubbles instead of blue, and features like typing indicators and read receipts stop working. The person with Android will receive the message as a regular text, and their replies will come through as texts too.
Do I need to do anything special to add someone I've never messaged before?
No. Just open Messages, tap the pencil icon, type their name or phone number, and select them from the dropdown. If they have iMessage, the message will send as iMessage (blue). If not, it will send as SMS (green). You don't need to add them to your contacts first, though having them in your address book makes it easier to find them.