The fastest way to add someone on Discord

To add a friend on Discord, you need their username and the four-digit number that comes after it (called a tag), or you can search for them by email if they've made their account findable that way. Open Discord, click the Friends icon on the left sidebar, select "Add Friend", type their username and tag into the box, and click "Send Friend Request". They'll see the request in their Friends tab and can accept or decline it.

The person you're adding doesn't have to accept right away — the request sits in their pending list until they do. Once they accept, you'll both see each other in your Friends list and can message or call each other directly.

Key Takeaways

  • You need someone's exact username and tag (the four numbers after their name) to send them a friend request through Discord's search.
  • If you're already in the same server together, you can right-click their name in the chat and select "Add Friend" without needing their tag.
  • Friend requests stay pending until the other person accepts them, and you can cancel a request you've sent at any time.
  • Discord also lets you search by email address if the person has enabled that setting in their privacy options.

Finding someone's username and tag

Every Discord user has a username followed by a hashtag and four numbers — for example, "SarahChen#4729". You need both parts to search for someone. If you already know their username but not the tag, ask them directly or look for it on their profile if you're in a server together.

If you're already in a Discord server with the person, the easiest route is to find their name in the member list or in any chat message they've sent, right-click it, and select "Add Friend". This skips the need to type anything and sends the request when ready.

Sending a friend request step by step

Open Discord and look at the left sidebar. Click the Friends icon (it looks like two people). At the top of the Friends window, you'll see a button that says "Add Friend" — click it.

A text box will appear that says "You can add friends with their Discord username". Type the person's username and tag into this box exactly as they gave it to you — capitalization doesn't matter, but the tag number must be exact. Once you've typed it, click the "Send Friend Request" button.

Discord will confirm that the request was sent. The person will see it in their Friends tab under "Pending" and can accept or decline from there. You'll see the request in your own pending list too, so you can cancel it if you change your mind.

What happens after you send a request

When you send a friend request, it appears in the other person's Friends tab with a checkmark button to accept and an X button to decline. They can also ignore it, which leaves it pending indefinitely. You can see all your outgoing requests in your own Friends tab under "Pending" — if someone hasn't responded after a while, you can cancel the request and send it again later.

Once someone accepts your request, you both appear in each other's Friends list. You can then message them directly by clicking their name, start a voice or video call, or invite them to servers you're in. If you want to remove them later, you can right-click their name in your Friends list and select "Remove Friend".

Adding friends from a server you're both in

If you're already in the same Discord server as someone, you don't need their tag. Find their name in the member list (click the server name at the top, then look for the Members tab) or click on any message they've sent in chat. Right-click their username and select "Add Friend" from the menu that appears.

This method works even if you don't know their tag, because Discord pulls their information directly from the server. The friend request still goes through the same process — they'll see it pending and can accept or decline — but you've skipped the step of asking for their exact username.

Troubleshooting when a request won't send

If you type a username and tag but the "Send Friend Request" button doesn't work or shows an error, the most common reason is that the tag number is wrong. Ask the person to confirm their exact tag — even one wrong digit will cause the search to fail. Discord usernames are also case-sensitive in some older accounts, so try typing it exactly as they wrote it.

If the username doesn't exist at all, Discord will tell you "User not found". This usually means the person has changed their username recently, or you have a typo. Another possibility is that their privacy settings prevent them from being found by username search — in that case, ask them to send you a friend request instead, or add them through a server you're both in.

Privacy settings that affect friend requests

Discord lets users control who can send them friend requests. If someone has turned off requests from strangers, you won't be able to send them one unless you're already in a server together. If you try to add someone and get a message saying they don't accept friend requests, they've likely changed this setting.

The workaround is to join a server they're in and add them from there, or ask them to send you a friend request instead. Some people also make their account searchable by email address rather than username — if you know their email, you can search for them that way if they've enabled it.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I add someone if I don't know their tag number?

Yes, if you're already in the same server together. Right-click their name in the member list or in chat and select "Add Friend". If you're not in a server together, you'll need to ask them for their exact username and tag, or ask them to send you a request instead.

What's the difference between a friend request and being in a server together?

Being in a server means you can see each other's messages in that server's channels, but you can't message each other privately unless you're friends. Adding someone as a friend lets you message them directly and see their online status, regardless of which servers you're in together.

Can I cancel a friend request I already sent?

Yes. Go to your Friends tab, click "Pending", find the request you sent, and click the X button next to their name. You can send a new request to them later if you want.

What if someone sends me a friend request and I ignore it?

The request stays in your pending list indefinitely. You can accept it at any time, decline it, or leave it sitting there. The person who sent it can see that it's still pending on their end.

Do I need to be in a server to add someone as a friend?

No. You can add anyone as a friend if you know their username and tag, even if you've never been in a server together. However, some people turn off friend requests from strangers, in which case you'd need to be in a server together to add them.