Cancel a pending friend request you sent
If you sent a friend request and want to take it back before the person responds, you can cancel it in a few taps. The request disappears from their notifications, and they will not see a record that you sent one — it is as though you never clicked the button.
On your phone or computer, go to the profile of the person you sent the request to. Look for a button that says "Cancel request" or shows a checkmark with an X through it. Click or tap that button. The request is gone when ready.
If you cannot find the button, refresh the page or close and reopen the app. Sometimes the display lags behind what Facebook's servers are tracking.
Key Takeaways
- A cancelled friend request vanishes from the other person's notifications and leaves no trace they can see.
- You can cancel a request you sent by finding the person's profile and tapping the "Cancel request" button.
- If someone sends you a request and you decline it, they can send another one after a week or so.
- Cancelling a request is different from unfriending — unfriending removes someone you are already connected to.
- You cannot cancel a request someone else sent to you; you can only decline it or leave it sitting.
What happens when you cancel versus decline
There are two different actions, and they work on different requests. Cancelling is what you do when you sent the request and want to take it back. Declining is what you do when someone else sent you a request and you do not want to accept it.
When you cancel a request you sent, the other person sees nothing. Their notifications do not show it, and if they visit your profile, they will not see a pending request from you. When you decline a request someone sent to you, that person is not notified that you declined — the request straightforward disappears from your inbox.
Both actions are private. Neither person gets a message saying "this person cancelled" or "this person declined." The request just stops existing on both sides.
How to decline a friend request someone sent you
If someone sent you a friend request and you do not want to accept it, open your friend requests. On a phone, tap the menu icon (three horizontal lines) at the bottom right, then tap "Friends," then "Friend requests." On a computer, click the friend icon at the top of the page and select "Friend requests."
You will see a list of pending requests. Next to each person's name, you will see two buttons: one to confirm (usually a checkmark) and one to decline (usually an X). Tap or click the X button. The request disappears from your inbox.
The person who sent the request will not know you declined it. They might try again in a week or two, or they might not. There is no way for them to see that you rejected their request.
Finding a request you sent a long time ago
If you sent a friend request weeks or months ago and cannot remember whether the person accepted it or whether it is still pending, check their profile directly. Visit their page and look at the button near their name. If it says "Add friend," the request was never sent or was already cancelled. If it says "Cancel request," your request is still waiting for them to respond.
If the button says "Friends," you are already connected. If it says "Message," you are friends but they have restricted who can see their friend list or request status.
Once you know the request is still pending, you can cancel it using the method described above.
What to do if you want to send a request again after cancelling
You can cancel a request and send a new one to the same person when ready. Facebook does not make you wait between attempts. However, if someone declines your request, Facebook may prevent you from sending another request for about a week. This is to prevent spam and repeated requests to people who have already said no.
If a week has passed since someone declined your request and you want to try again, visit their profile and the "Add friend" button should be available. If it is not, wait a few more days.
Cancelling a request is not the same as unfriending
Unfriending is different from cancelling a request. Unfriending removes someone you are already friends with — someone whose friend request you accepted, or who accepted yours. Cancelling a request removes a pending request that has not been accepted yet.
If you are already friends with someone and want to stop seeing their posts or being connected to them, you unfriend them instead. That person will not get a notification that you unfriended them, but if they visit your profile, they will see that you are no longer friends. You can unfriend someone by visiting their profile, clicking the "Friends" button, and selecting "Unfriend."
Frequently Asked Questions
Can the person see that I cancelled my request?
No. When you cancel a request, it disappears from their notifications and their pending requests list. There is no notification sent to them, and no record they can find that you ever sent one.
What if I cancel a request and then want to send one again?
You can send a new request right away. Facebook does not make you wait. However, if the person declines your request, you typically cannot send another one for about a week.
Does declining a request notify the person?
No. When you decline a friend request, the person who sent it does not get a notification. The request straightforward disappears from your inbox, and they have no way to know you declined it.
Can I cancel a request if the person already accepted it?
No. Once someone accepts your request, you are friends. At that point, you would need to unfriend them instead if you want to disconnect. There is no "cancel" option for accepted requests.
What if I sent a request to someone and they have not responded in months?
You can cancel it at any time. Visit their profile, find the "Cancel request" button, and tap it. If you change your mind later, you can send a new request, though waiting several months before trying again is usually a good idea.