The three ways to add someone on Instagram

You can add people to your Instagram network in three ways: by following them, by sending a direct message, or by adding them to a Close Friends list after you already follow them. Following is the most common — it means you see their posts in your feed and they can see that you follow them. A direct message lets you contact someone privately without following them first. Close Friends is a separate list you create from people you already follow, so only those people see your Stories marked "Close Friends."

Each method works differently depending on whether the person has a public account, a private account, or has blocked you. Understanding which method fits your situation saves you from sending requests that won't go through or wondering why someone hasn't seen your message.

Key Takeaways

  • Following someone on a public account happens when ready, but following a private account requires them to accept your request first.
  • You can send a direct message to someone without following them, and they will see it in their message requests until they accept it.
  • Close Friends is a separate list you create from people you already follow, and only those people see Stories you mark as "Close Friends only."
  • If someone has blocked you, you cannot follow them, message them, or see their profile until they unblock you.
  • Searching by username, phone number, or email is the fastest way to find someone if you do not already know their Instagram handle.

Following someone with a public account

If the person has a public account, following them takes one tap. Open Instagram, tap the magnifying glass icon at the bottom to search, type their username or real name in the search box, and tap their profile when it appears. On their profile page, tap the "Follow" button. You will now see their posts in your feed, and they can see that you follow them — though they will not get a notification unless they have notifications turned on for new followers.

Once you follow someone, the "Follow" button changes to "Following." If you change your mind, tap "Following" again and choose "Unfollow" to remove them from your feed. They will not be notified that you unfollowed them.

Following someone with a private account

Private accounts require the owner to accept your follow request before you can see their posts. Tap their profile, then tap "Follow." Instead of changing to "Following," the button will say "Requested." The person will see your request in their notifications and can accept or decline it. If they accept, you become a follower and can see their posts. If they decline, the request disappears and you remain unable to see their content.

While your request is pending, the person can see that you sent it, but you cannot see their posts or send them a direct message. If they decline your request, you can send another one later, but sending multiple requests in a short time may look like harassment. If you know the person, it is better to message them first or contact them outside Instagram to ask them to accept your request.

Sending a direct message without following

You can send a direct message to someone on Instagram without following them first. Tap the paper airplane icon at the top right of your home feed, then tap the plus sign to start a new message. Search for the person's username and tap their name. Type your message and send it. They will receive it in their message requests, not in their main inbox, because you do not follow them.

The person can read your message and choose to accept it (which moves it to their main inbox and lets you continue the conversation) or delete it without replying. If they accept your message, you can continue messaging back and forth. If they delete it, you can send another message, but they will see it in requests again. Messaging someone repeatedly after they have ignored your messages can result in Instagram limiting your ability to message them.

Adding someone to your Close Friends list

Close Friends is a separate list of people you already follow. When you post a Story and mark it "Close Friends only," only the people on that list see it. To create a Close Friends list, tap your profile picture at the bottom right, then tap the three horizontal lines (menu), then "Close Friends." Tap "Edit list" and search for people you already follow. Tap each person to add them, then tap "Done."

You can have up to 150 people on your Close Friends list. You can change the list anytime by removing people or adding new ones. People on your Close Friends list cannot see that they are on it — they only know if you post a Story marked "Close Friends only" and they see it while others do not. You can also send a direct message to your entire Close Friends list at once by tapping the paper airplane icon, selecting "Close Friends," and typing a message.

What happens when someone blocks you

If someone has blocked you, you cannot follow them, see their profile, send them a message, or see their posts or Stories. If you try to search for their username, their profile will not appear. If you had followed them before they blocked you, they will be removed from your following list. You will not receive a notification that you have been blocked, but you can tell by searching for their username and finding nothing.

If you believe you have been blocked by mistake or want to contact the person, you will need to reach out to them through another method — text, email, or another app. Once they unblock you, you can follow them again and see their content as if nothing happened.

Finding someone if you do not know their username

If you know someone's real name but not their Instagram handle, you can search for them by name. Tap the magnifying glass icon, type their first and last name in the search box, and scroll through the results. Instagram shows accounts with that name, sorted by how many followers they have and how many mutual connections you share. If you have mutual followers, Instagram highlights those accounts first, which makes it easier to find the right person.

You can also search by phone number or email if you have saved their contact information. Tap the magnifying glass, then tap "Search" at the top. Scroll down to "Find Friends" and tap "Find Friends." Instagram will ask permission to access your contacts. If you allow it, you can see which of your contacts have Instagram accounts. Tap "Follow" next to their name to follow them when ready.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can someone see that I followed them?

Yes, they can see your username in their followers list and in their notifications if they have notifications turned on. However, they are not notified every time you view their profile or like their posts — they only see that you followed them once.

What is the difference between following and adding to Close Friends?

Following means you see all their posts in your feed and they can see you follow them. Close Friends is a separate list you create from people you already follow, and it only affects which Stories they see — Stories marked "Close Friends only" are hidden from everyone except that list.

If I send a message to someone who does not follow me back, will they see it?

Yes, they will see it in their message requests. They can read it without accepting it, but if they want to reply, they have to accept the message first, which moves it to their main inbox. If they delete it, you can send another message, but it will appear in requests again.

Can I follow someone if they have a private account and they have not accepted my request yet?

No. Your request will stay pending until they accept or decline it. You cannot see their posts, Stories, or follower list while your request is waiting. You can cancel your request anytime by tapping "Requested" on their profile and choosing "Cancel."

What should I do if I cannot find someone on Instagram?

They may have a private account and blocked you, deactivated their account, or changed their username. Try searching by their real name or phone number if you have it. If you still cannot find them, they may have blocked you, in which case you will need to contact them outside Instagram to ask them to unblock you.