Where to find your pending friend requests
Discord shows all incoming friend requests in one place: the Friends tab. Open Discord and look at the left sidebar. Click the icon that looks like two people (your Friends icon), then select the Pending tab at the top. Every request someone has sent you appears here, with their username and profile picture.
On mobile, tap the Friends icon at the bottom of the screen, then swipe to the Pending tab. The layout is the same — you see usernames and can act on each request when ready.
If you have never received a request, the Pending tab will be empty or show zero next to it. This does not mean requests are hidden elsewhere. Discord consolidates all pending requests in this single location.
Key Takeaways
- Friend requests appear in the Pending tab of your Friends section, accessible from the left sidebar on desktop or the bottom menu on mobile.
- You can accept or decline any request with one click, and Discord does not notify the sender which action you chose.
- Blocked users cannot send you friend requests, and requests from people you have blocked will not appear in your Pending tab.
- If someone sends you a request and you decline it, they can send another request later — Discord does not prevent repeat requests from the same person.
How to accept or decline a request
When you open the Pending tab, each request shows the person's name and two buttons: a checkmark to accept and an X to decline. Click the checkmark to add them to your Friends list. Click the X to reject the request without explanation.
Accepting a request means you can now message them directly, see when they are online, and they can see the same about you. Declining removes the request from your list. The person who sent it will not receive a notification that you declined — they straightforward will not see you accept.
You can change your mind after accepting. If you add someone by mistake, go to your Friends list, find their name, right-click it (or long-press on mobile), and select Remove Friend. This removes them without sending a notification.
Why you might not see a request you expect
If someone says they sent you a request but you do not see it in Pending, check whether you have blocked them. Open your User Settings (the gear icon), go to Privacy & Safety, and look at your Blocked Users list. Blocked users cannot send requests, and any request they sent before you blocked them disappears from Pending.
Another reason: you may have already acted on the request without remembering. Once you accept or decline, the request leaves the Pending tab. If you want to add someone you declined before, ask them to send a new request.
Discord also does not show requests from people who are not yet registered or whose accounts are very new. If someone created their account moments ago, their request may take a few minutes to appear, or Discord may filter it as a precaution against spam.
Controlling who can send you requests
By default, anyone on Discord can send you a friend request. If you want to limit this, go to User Settings, select Privacy & Safety, and find the Friend Requests setting. You can change it from "Everyone" to "Friends of Friends" or "Server Members Only." This filters incoming requests but does not delete requests already in your Pending tab.
If you set it to "Friends of Friends," only people who share a mutual friend with you can request you. If you set it to "Server Members Only," only people in servers you both belong to can request you. These settings take effect when ready for new requests.
You can also block individual people. Blocking prevents them from sending requests, messaging you, or seeing your online status. To block someone, find their name in your Friends list or in a server, right-click, and select Block User.
What happens to requests you ignore
Discord does not automatically delete old requests. A request can sit in your Pending tab indefinitely unless you accept or decline it. There is no time limit, and the person who sent it can see that their request is still pending.
If you want to clean up your Pending tab, go through and decline requests you do not want. This removes them from view and signals to the sender that you have seen their request. If you later change your mind about someone, you can ask them to send a new request.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I see who sent me a friend request if their account is deleted?
No. If someone deletes their account, their pending request disappears from your Pending tab. You will not see their username or any record that they sent it. If the request is already gone, the account was likely deleted.
Does the person know if I decline their request?
No. Discord does not notify the sender whether you accepted or declined. They will only know if they check their own sent requests and notice it is no longer there, which most people do not do.
What if someone keeps sending me requests after I decline?
They can send another request whenever they want. If you do not want to receive requests from them at all, block them. Blocking prevents all future requests and removes them from your Friends list if they were already added.
Can I accept a request without them knowing?
Accepting a request does not send a notification. However, once you are friends, they can see you in their Friends list and will notice you are there. If you want to add someone quietly, accepting is the only way — but they will eventually see you in their list.
Do friend requests expire?
No. Requests stay in your Pending tab until you accept or decline them. There is no expiration date, and Discord will not automatically delete old requests.