The basic steps to add someone as a friend on Facebook
To add a friend on Facebook, find their profile by searching their name in the search bar at the top of your screen, click on their profile, and then click the "Add Friend" button. Facebook will send them a friend request. They have to accept it before you become friends — until then, they can see the request in their notifications but you are not yet connected.
Once they accept, you become friends. This is when Facebook's sharing settings kick in. By default, friends can see your posts, photos, birthday, and the list of your other friends. They can also message you and tag you in photos or posts. The exact visibility depends on the privacy settings you have chosen for each piece of content.
If you want to add someone but do not want them to see all your past posts, you can adjust your privacy settings before or after sending the request. You can also unfriend someone at any time by going to their profile and clicking "Unfriend" — they will not be notified, but they will no longer see your posts or be able to message you unless you change your settings again.
Key Takeaways
- Adding a friend on Facebook sends them a request they must accept; you are not connected until they say yes.
- Once someone is your friend, they can see your posts, photos, and friend list by default, unless you have changed your privacy settings.
- You can limit what specific friends see by using Facebook's custom privacy controls on individual posts or by adjusting your overall privacy settings.
- Unfriending someone removes their access to your content, but they can send you a new friend request at any time.
What friends can see once they accept your request
When someone becomes your friend, Facebook shows them your profile information and posts based on your privacy settings. By default, this includes your profile picture, cover photo, basic information like your birthday and hometown, and any posts you have marked as visible to "Friends." It also includes your friend list — other people can see who your friends are.
Friends can also see photos you are tagged in, even if you did not post them yourself. If someone else posts a photo and tags you, your friends will see it in their feed. You can untag yourself from photos you do not want associated with your profile, but the photo itself will still exist on the other person's profile.
One detail many people miss: friends can send you messages, and those messages go to your main inbox rather than a separate "message requests" folder. This means a new friend can contact you directly without any barrier. If you want to limit who can message you, you can adjust your messaging settings to filter messages from people who are not your friends.
How to control what each friend can see
Facebook lets you set different privacy levels for different friends. The simplest way is to use the "Custom" privacy option when you post. Click the audience selector (usually showing "Friends") and choose "Custom." From there, you can type in specific names to include or exclude from that single post.
You can also manage privacy on a per-friend basis by visiting their profile, clicking the three dots next to their name, and selecting "See Friendship." This shows you what you have shared with them and lets you adjust settings. Some people create "Friend Lists" — groups like "Close Friends," "Acquaintances," or "Work" — and then set posts to be visible only to specific lists rather than all friends.
If you want to limit what someone sees without unfriending them, you can also "Restrict" them. A restricted person can still see your public posts and your profile picture, but they cannot see your friends list, past posts, or when you are online. They will not know they are restricted — it looks to them like you are just not very active.
The difference between friend requests and follow requests
A friend request is a two-way connection. Once accepted, you can both see each other's posts (depending on privacy settings) and message each other. A follow request is one-way — the person follows your public posts without being your friend. You can follow someone without being friends with them, and they will not see your private posts or friend list.
If your profile is public, anyone can follow you without sending a friend request. If your profile is private, people have to send you a friend request to see your posts. Some people set their profile to private but allow followers to see selected public posts — this gives them more control over who sees what without having to accept individual friend requests.
What happens if you send a request to someone who has not accepted yet
While a friend request is pending, the other person can see it in their notifications, but you are not yet friends. They cannot see your private posts, and you cannot see theirs. You can cancel the request at any time by going to their profile and clicking "Cancel Request." If they decline your request, you will not be notified, but you can send another request later if you want.
Some people set their profiles so that friend requests go to a separate folder and they do not see them in their main notifications. This means your request might sit there for weeks or months without them ever seeing it. If you are not sure whether someone saw your request, you can always send them a message or contact them another way to ask.
Privacy settings to review before adding friends
Before you start adding friends, check your privacy settings to make sure you are comfortable with what they will see. Go to Settings (the gear icon), click "Privacy," and review who can see your posts, your friend list, your birthday, and when you are online. You can set each of these to "Friends," "Friends Except," "Specific Friends," or "Public."
Pay special attention to your "Who can look you up?" settings. Even if your posts are private, someone can find your profile by searching your name or email address. You can limit this by changing who can search for you and whether your profile appears in search results outside of Facebook.
Also check your "Apps and Websites" settings to see which apps and services have permission to see your Facebook data. When you add a friend, some apps may automatically share that information with other services. You can revoke access to any app you no longer use or trust.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can someone tell if I have viewed their profile?
No. Facebook does not tell people when you visit their profile. However, if you interact with their posts — like, comment, or share — they will see your name. Some third-party apps claim to show profile visitors, but Facebook has said these do not work and may be scams designed to steal your login information.
What if I accidentally send a friend request to the wrong person?
Go to their profile and click "Cancel Request." The request will disappear from their notifications. They will not be told you sent it or that you cancelled it. You can send a new request later if you change your mind.
Can I add someone as a friend if they have blocked me?
No. If someone has blocked you, you cannot send them a friend request, see their profile, or message them. If the block is later removed, you can send a new request. Blocking is different from declining a request — a block actively prevents contact, while declining just means they said no to that one request.
Does my friend see a notification when I add them to a custom privacy list?
No. Custom lists are private to you. Your friend will not know they are on a list called "Acquaintances" or that you have hidden certain posts from them. They will only notice if they try to find a post you made and cannot see it.
What information does Facebook share with my friends about my activity?
By default, friends can see when you like or comment on public posts, when you update your profile picture, and when you are active on Facebook (if you have not turned off "Active Status"). You can turn off active status in your settings so friends cannot see when you are online. You can also hide your story from specific people without unfriending them.