How to delete FetLife permanently
FetLife does not have a self-service delete button in your account settings. To remove your account, you must contact FetLife support directly through their website and request permanent deletion. The process takes a few days to a week, and FetLife will remove your profile, messages, photos, and all associated data from their servers.
Before you request deletion, read any content you want to keep — FetLife does not send you a copy of your data automatically. After deletion is complete, your username becomes unavailable for reuse, and your profile will no longer appear in searches or on other members' friend lists.
Key Takeaways
- FetLife deletion requires contacting support by email or through their contact form; there is no delete button in account settings.
- You should read or save any photos, messages, or other content you want to keep before requesting deletion, since FetLife does not provide a data export.
- The deletion process typically takes three to seven days after FetLife receives your request.
- Once deleted, your username cannot be reused, and your profile disappears from all searches and other members' accounts.
Steps to request account deletion
Go to FetLife.com and log into your account. Click the menu icon (three horizontal lines) in the top right corner, then select "Contact Us" or navigate directly to their contact page. Choose the option for account or profile issues.
In the message field, write a clear request for permanent account deletion. Include your username and the email address associated with your account. FetLife support will respond to confirm your identity and process the deletion. Keep your confirmation email for your records.
FetLife may ask you to confirm the deletion a second time via email to prevent accidental removal. Reply to their confirmation message to complete the process. Do not log back into your account during this period, as it may interrupt the deletion request.
What to save before deletion
Before you submit your deletion request, take screenshots or read any photos, journals, or messages you want to keep. FetLife does not offer a built-in export tool, so you will need to manually save content by taking screenshots or using your browser's read function for images.
If you have sent or received important messages, open each conversation and screenshot the text. For photos you uploaded, right-click each image and select "Save image as" to read it to your computer. This step is especially important if you have shared personal photos or written content you do not want to lose.
Deactivating instead of deleting
If you are unsure about permanent deletion, you can deactivate your account temporarily instead. A deactivated account hides your profile from searches and other members but keeps your data on FetLife's servers. You can reactivate a deactivated account by logging back in at any time.
Deactivation is useful if you want to take a break from the platform without losing your profile history, friends list, or content. To deactivate, go to your account settings, find the deactivation option, and follow the prompts. Unlike deletion, deactivation does not require contacting support.
What happens to your data after deletion
Once FetLife processes your deletion request, your profile, photos, messages, and all personal information are removed from their active servers. Your username becomes unavailable, and no one will be able to find your profile or access your content through FetLife's search or member directories.
FetLife may retain backup copies of your data for a limited time for security and legal purposes, but these backups are not accessible to other users. After the retention period ends, your information is deleted from backups as well. If you have concerns about data privacy, you can request information about FetLife's data retention policies through their contact form.
Removing your presence from other sites
If your FetLife profile was linked to or mentioned on other websites, forums, or social media, deleting your FetLife account will not remove those external references. You will need to contact those sites separately to request removal of any content that mentions your FetLife username or profile.
Search for your FetLife username on Google to see if your profile appears in search results or on other platforms. If you find references to your account elsewhere, visit those sites and request removal according to their policies. Some sites may require you to prove you owned the account before they remove the content.
Troubleshooting a stuck deletion request
If you submitted a deletion request but have not heard back after two weeks, send a follow-up message to FetLife support. Include your original request date, username, and the email address you used to contact them. FetLife support typically responds within a few business days.
If you cannot access your account to submit a deletion request, use the contact form on FetLife's website instead of logging in. Provide as much identifying information as possible — your username, the email address on file, and any other details that help FetLife verify your identity. Support may ask for additional verification before processing the deletion.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I delete my FetLife account on mobile?
Yes. Open the FetLife app or mobile website, log in, and access the menu. Select "Contact Us" and submit your deletion request the same way you would on a computer. FetLife will process mobile requests the same as desktop requests.
Will deleting FetLife remove my messages from other people's inboxes?
No. When you delete your account, messages you sent to other members remain in their inboxes, but they will show as sent by a deleted user. The other person will not be able to click through to your profile, but the message text stays visible to them.
How long does FetLife deletion take?
Most deletions are processed within three to seven days after FetLife receives your request. In some cases it may take up to two weeks. You will receive a confirmation email when the deletion is complete.
Can I reactivate my account after deletion?
No. Permanent deletion is irreversible. If you think you might want to use FetLife again, deactivate your account instead of deleting it. Deactivated accounts can be reactivated by logging back in.
What if I forgot the email address on my FetLife account?
Contact FetLife support through their contact form and explain that you do not remember the email address. Provide your username and any other identifying information. Support can verify your identity and help you delete the account without needing the original email.